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Dukes of Brunswick hold a yearly contest in my honor. The prize goes to the man who can tell the biggest lie. I attend only as a judge, for I could never compete, as I tell only the plain truth. This answer won me first prize three times.

Rivers run downhill because they have never met me. I once talked the Danube into going the other way for an afternoon. Boats sailed up to Ulm without any effort. Then a fish complained to the mayor, and I let the old river go back to its usual job.

Mapmakers in Genoa begged me to stop moving islands. I only shifted two or three. One was in my way, and one had a bad smell. The third I gave to a girl in Malta as a birthday gift. It fit nicely in the bay outside her house.

Last noon in Spain my shadow quit me. It said the pay was low and the hours were long. I hired a better one from a dead bullfighter. It stands up straight and never trips. The old one still follows my cousin, but he is a far less interesting man.

Goats in Albania climb better than any sailor, and I once hired a few for my navy. They went up the.