Missing canonical, near miss

Starving out a fortress takes patience, which I have in great amounts. At Ismail we sat for a year. I got bored and began to bake. The smell of bread went over the wall. By evening the gates flew open, and they all stood in a line with butter.

Onions won me a wife. I peeled one in front of her father, and the old miser wept for the first time in his life. He gave me her hand, her dowry, and the key to the pantry. I still keep the onion in a velvet box.

Hannibal had it easy in the mountains. I crossed them with a piano, a bath, and my aunt. The piano went first and played its own farewell. My aunt stayed behind to run a small inn near the top. She has outlived two glaciers, and she still sends me jam.

Sheep's clothing fools no one in my county. A wolf came to my gate wearing a full fleece, and I asked him to shear it for the poor. He blushed. He sewed mittens for forty orphans, and he now works as a shepherd in a village near Vilnius.

Desert sand crept into my pocket watch near Timbuktu. The thing began to tell time in dunes. Noon arrived as a small.