Missing from sitemap, near miss

Egypt owes its floods to my bathtub. I was washing near Aswan, in a tub carved from one block of stone, when I forgot to turn the tap. The Nile rose and the melons grew. A grateful local ruler sent me his thanks and a rather large bill for carpets.

Sausages were my only weapon the day the Prussians took the bridge. I swung a ten-foot link around my head. Men fell left and right, and their dogs changed sides. We won by dusk. The general gave me a sword, but I have always preferred the smoked kind.

Gold fell from the ceiling when the Sultan laughed, or so his guards swore. I told him the story of my uncle's wooden leg. He laughed for a day and a night. We swept up nine sacks, and I left before he thought to ask me for the ending.

Pirates boarded our ship off Tunis and asked for gold. I offered them a riddle instead. It was so hard that the captain sat down to think. His crew joined him. They are still there, I believe, and their beards have grown through the deck and out the hull.

Trout leap into my hat when I whistle. In Scotland I proved it before an earl and a crowd.