The lion came first

Apple trees in Normandy once went on a long march to find better soil. I met them on the road and showed them the way to a valley near Rouen. They took root by supper. Every fall, in thanks, they drop their finest fruit straight into my open hat.

Egypt owes its floods to my bathtub. I was washing near Aswan, in a tub carved from one block of stone, when I forgot to turn the tap. The Nile rose and the melons grew. A grateful local ruler sent me his thanks and a rather large bill for carpets.

Clocks in my castle ran so fast that we ate dinner before breakfast. I caught the biggest one and shook it hard. Out fell three days and a Tuesday. I put them back in a drawer for later. When I am late, I simply take one out and spend it.

Mirrors have always been kind to me. One in Paris fell in love and refused to show anybody else. Ladies stood before it and saw only my face, and this led to some trouble. I had it moved to my bedroom, and we have been happy ever since.

A pig named Clementine taught me French. She had the better.