The lab, where every page is broken on purpose

Gibraltar was a modest hill when I took it up as a hobby. I fed it well, gave it lots of sea air, and sang to it at night. Within a month it stood taller than any fort in Spain. Both kings sent men to claim it, but only I knew its favorite song.

Snow fell so deep in Russia that winter that I skied across the roofs of Moscow and never once saw the street. In April the drifts melted. Then I found I had been sleeping for months on top of a cathedral. The bishop charged me rent, and I paid him in icicles.

Pirates boarded our ship off Tunis and asked for gold. I offered them a riddle instead. It was so hard that the captain sat down to think. His crew joined him. They are still there, I believe, and their beards have grown through the deck and out the hull.

Generals have always sought my advice, and I have always charged for it. One old Austrian asked me how to win at Temesvar. I told him to stand on the other side. He did, and he won, although the people around him were quite surprised to find him there.

Vesuvius sneezed while I stood on the rim, and up I went with my picnic. I came down near Capri, still holding a chicken leg. My friends thought I had died. I walked into my own.